she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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