i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
