xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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