I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I stole a fireplace last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
