i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
