im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
