Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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