i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
