Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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