benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
