im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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