haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She's JV to your varsity
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
