lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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