is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
