out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
