Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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