toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
PANTIES FOUND
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