You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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