cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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