did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
