Me too!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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