god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
