shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize