There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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