if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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