Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
