I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I believe in your delicious
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
where are my eyebrows?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
