Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
