so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
