Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
