sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
