i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
