thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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