This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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