So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the raccoons are back...
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