she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
