she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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