I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need water and some morals
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
