So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
