I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
