You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
