i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He shit in the fireplace
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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