You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
