Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
