He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
