i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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