the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize