question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize