i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
