That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
