I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Randomize
