and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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