is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
