so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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