You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
