just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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