were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
