She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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