yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
