why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize