she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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