I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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