i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
