is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize