I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
