I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
